Guantanamo, here I come!

Have been taking advantage of this generally dreary day to wash dishes, do laundry, make another trip to the grocery store, dread the oncoming winter, catch up on the news--and made the lottery-winning discovery that, indeed, I shall be able to afford a long retirement in a warm climate!

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba . . . Sun, warm ocean breezes, “three hots and a cot,” free medical care, for as long as I happen to live . . .

And all because I occasionally read non-(not necessarily anti-) American newspapers, once took a college class about Islam, used to give “special privileges” in terms of scheduling to one of our pediatricians (who was Muslim), and on top of all that NEVER go to church, has never, to his knowledge, been called by God to do ANYthing, much less run for president or something equally exalted.

Who would ever have thought those relatively trivial pieces of my life could come together to fund my dreamed-of retirement? Who would ever have thought that I would owe all this to freaking REPUBLICANS (and a couple of turncoat Democrats, including at least one from my own state)???

I should send personalized thank-you notes to every one of the blessed 61 senators who voted against the Udall amendment to the defense appropriations bill. That tiresome amendment would have excluded the provision of the bill giving the executive branch and military the “right” to detain even Americans, on American soil, forever without even naming a charge, much less going through the hassle of a trial and all that noise.

Unless that Hitlerite Muslim born-somewhere-else IMPOSTOR in the White House vetoes the bill, I figure it’s only a matter of time before somebody rats me out and the U.S. Govt flies me to Cuba to while away my remaining days.  

And JUST in time, too, because my current livelihood is being exported to a different warm climate halfway around the world.

Hmmm . . . Maybe if I rat on my dogs’ and cats’ disturbingly socialist tendencies (they share their food sometimes, sleep--just sleep, they’re all “fixed” except one--together, generally get along well), the government will fly them down there with me!

Probably it will be crowded in the 45 square miles of our base in Guantanamo, but I suppose I can sacrifice a little privacy in exchange for what the Grand Old Party plans for me.

I can practically smell those warm ocean breezes already!